Today, dear reader, something a little different. We all have to choose who we are but, really, what we say we are, believe we are, isn’t borne out by our actions. For a long time, I would have described myself as an artist, who was good at finance and who was broadly healthy. Yes, I rarely (almost never, truth by told) painted, spent everything I earned and hadn’t run 10 kms consecutively for a decade! We are what we do and I was not any of those things.
But what do we do?
What we do isn’t decided by the two hours we have off in the evening. It isn’t really even decided by what we choose to do on Sunday afternoon. Don’t get me wrong, that’s a start but these times put together don’t equal more than 15%/20% of our waking life. What we do is controlled by something we almost don’t notice, but which has massive power over the direction of our life, our habits.
Now, habits are tricky things. They build up over time, like mineral rich water drip, drip, dripping until it forms a stalagmite. Some of them are so strong they’re almost imperceptible, picking up a phone when it buzzes, brushing your teeth in the morning, switching on the TV when you get home from work. Think of all the little things you repeat each day. The breakfast you always eat, or the route you always walk to your car or the coffee you always get at 3PM.
The reason for this is that your brain is lazy. It’s had millions of years to figure out how to minimise the amount of thinking it has to do. This is for a very good reason, food was much scarcer back in the mists of history and thinking takes energy. Lots of energy. Your brain seeks to reduce the load. The way it does this is by figuring out solutions to everyday problems and applying them consistently. In other words, it forms habits.
Tired in the morning? “Hmm, coffee seemed to wake me up when we tried it yesterday”, thinks the brain, “why don’t we try it again today?”. It works. A solution has been found! Now, whenever you’re tired in the morning, you drink coffee. A reasonable solution to the problem, but far from the most optimal solution if the problem is caused by only sleeping three hours a night.
Boss stress you out? “Hmm, when I was stressed on that night out about Lucy fancying James, a cigarette really chilled me out”, remembers your brain, who is about to have a really bad idea, “perhaps we can try that again now?”. And so having a cigarette becomes associated with releasing stress and a smoking habit begins.
Of course, habits can work both ways, in the final example, going to the gym or running are both effective ways to release stress (once you’re past the awkward, this is so f*cking exhausting and unpleasant! Stage), and a good habit begins.
You are the voter, your habits are the government
Habits don’t start quite this quickly of course, but each decision you make which is line with a habit, strengthens that habit. Each time you accept that cigarette, have that drink in front of the TV, sit down to learn French, you’re strengthening your smoking habit, drinking habit and learning habits (not prize for picking the positive habit in that line up!).
As James Clear says in his excellent book, Atomic Habits, you are, in effect, casting votes for what habits you keep or start. Whenever you choose not to do something, that habit releases its grip on you ever so slightly. When you choose to do something, that habits grip strengthens slightly. You’re voting for the government that rules your time. You’re voting for the habits that control the majority of your actions.
But it doesn’t stop here.
Your habits are you. Your habit of playing the guitar makes you a musician. Your habit of generously giving your time to those close to you makes you a great friend. Your habit of shouting to release stress makes you scary to be around. You’re not just voting for what you want to do with your time, you’re voting for who you are.
Ok, I’m partially persuaded by this, but what are you saying I should do?
Well, the first step is to decide who you want to be.
Then, you need to look at what habits move you closer to that person and what habits move you further away. Then, gradually you need to align your decisions with those positive habits.
This is not easy to do.
Your habits are strong and your brain is attached to them with good reason. Having to decide everything is almost as bad as deciding nothing. If you need to decide to do every action in the day, no matter how simple (I’ve just woken up and my mouth feels unclean, shall I brush my teeth before my shower, or after breakfast?), you’ll quickly become exhausted and your brain won’t have the energy to think about the things that really matter. You need habits, but you also need them to be good ones if you want to become the person you want to be.
The first step is also deceptively difficult. When’s the last time you really sat down and decided what’s important to you? Are any of these goals conflicting (e.g. being a good dad and working really hard in my career)? However, its really worth doing. Really knowing where you want to go is a massive sea change. It gives you real, tangible goals to work towards.
Alright, I’m getting onboard with this, so what should I do
Step one, make a list of all your habits. This will take a while. Next, assign them a grade: positive (moves me towards my goals), neutral (necessary but neither positive or negative (e.g. getting dressed) or negative (moves me away from my goals).
Once you’re aware, you can start voting for the habits you believe in and voting against the habits you don’t. There will be set backs but, much like wealth, the effects of your efforts compound. If you get a little bit better everyday, but the end of the year you will have improved massively.
Right, I’m going to give this a try, but what does this have to do with Financial Independence?
One of my top goals is to become financially independent, to control my financial destiny and take it out of the hands of those that employ me. To get there requires a massive sea change in my habits. I have to become a saver when I was a spend thrift. That shift changes not just a few but tens of habits I previously held, from shopping Waitrose (I know…), to buying two coffees a day, to always agreeing to eat out.
You may be starting from a better place than me, or from a worse one. Either way, the road to financial independence is paved with positive habits and the sooner you get them into place, the sooner you’ll we free to do whatever you want with your time. Kind of feels worth making the effort right?